I can see the argument, but not the reason for demanding equality in it. Women are usually the content gender. They don’t need bars to meet people. Like bees, they have a vast network of relations and intricate forms of communication largely invisible to the naked eye. At least to a guy’s eye. This network constantly delivers reams of data on a guy’s physical, social and financial status, their sexual prowess, anything a woman needs to know before deciding to say hello or simply spray him with mace. They don’t need to interact with us cretins to figure all of this out. If you ever see a woman staring blankly at a guy while he tries to deliver his best pick up line, she’s actually just busy downloading the latest info on him.

Bars were originally a guy’s invention, a place to wet your whistle and discuss the topics of the day. However, guys realized that staring at the same six boozehounds while listening to them prattle on about the Yankees got boring pretty quickly. How best to remedy this? Guys thought and thought and thought some more.

The answer: women.

Yeah, women! We can bore them with banal sports statistics while ogling their bodies the whole night! But how best to bring the fairer sex into a dimly lit room reeking of stale beer and cigar smoke? While kidnapping was the obvious (and short-lived) response, discounts on drinks and cover charges proved the more favorable technique.

And now, thanks to the pioneering efforts of Mr. Gillespie, we’ll be back to rattling off RBI stats with nothing for our eyes to settle on. Better men have gone straight to Hell for less than this.