Crankcase

Two bags of jelly beans, a ten-year old and a Tilt-A-Whirl.

 I'll make this quick. I threw together a new blog, something daily that won't take up much time (that was supposed to be this one, but I find that I'm just too wordy for my own good).

Now for the new Separated Even Before Birth Segment!

The full size one is below.

posted by: Jiggsy at 01/31/05 11:43 | link | comments (1) |

Oh, and even better news. I let my beard grow in thanks in part to this weekends blizzard. (Note to the folks at the Weather Channel: would you please fire the dolt who coined the term "Winter Wallop" for you? And by "fire" I mean either "to set ablaze" or "to propel from a gun.")

Much to my dismay, I find this:

Criminy! White beard bristles at age 31!

Well, at least they'll stop carding me at Famous Daves.

posted by: Jiggsy at 01/24/05 17:25 | link | comments (9) |

 Okay, time for the naming of the wee one. I really believe that most people without kids figure that this would be one of the easiest things to do for an expectant couple. You pick out a name that kind of fits with your last name and you're done. Nothing could be further from the truth. Not to mention there are several general rules going against you:

1. You can't tell anyone the name you picked. Tell anyone, even your spouse, a potential name and you'll hear "I knew a [name] in school and they were just the most annoying person!" Trying to find a name that has no ill memories surrounding it is almost impossible, so you just write down the name and never mention it to anyone.
2. Long last names are tough. If you like long first names, you're boned. Especially when your name sounds something like a former Soviet territory. Sabrina Kowalczyk falls off the tongue like a cinderblock.
3. Family history. We're gunning for a boy (need to keep the name running) and all the males on my dad's side started with S. Stefan, Stanley, Scott and so on. Trying to find a solid boy's name in the key of S that works well with Rules 1 and 2 is really tough.

Still, we have both managed to winnow out a lot of potential names:

• No yuppie names. If it makes you think of wealthy brats who got (and probably wrecked) three new cars before you moved out of your parent's house, it's out. No Aidans, Dylans, Montanas, Codys or anything else that would only sound cool to some trust fund freakazoid with a warehouse of Prada shoes and the attitiude to match.
• No place names. Who wants to be Camden from Camden? For that matter, Camden doesn't even want to be Camden.
• Pick-proof names. Something that makes lunchroom jokes almost impossible on them. See also: Sue, A Boy Named; Cash, Johnny.
• Just plain stupid names. Even if you mother was an ultracool superstar, would you really want to go through life named Apple?

To that end, we have a ton of workable girl names and about five boy names that might work. I can't tell you any (See Rule 1), but I will ask for your help with a middle name. Any good middle names out there besides Thomas? Hoping to stick with a T name (part of Rule 3), but not required.

posted by: Jiggsy at 01/24/05 12:04 | link | comments (8) |

 And a Happy New Year to all! I tried to type this out at home yesterday, but the screen kept nervously spitting out letters like a junkie in need of a fix. I type at work and it's silk smooth. Maybe the beauty of a network enabled PC running XP on the QT, maybe there wasn't enough coal in the boiler of my modem at home, who's to say. Too many typos to speak of, so I waited to punch it out at lunchtime.

And what a fine lunch it is. Broiled salmon (fresh caught by my in-laws in Alaska, no less), a small side of grilled veggies mixed with some tortellini and a wonderful slab of Panera french bread, given to me by a carb-conscious co-worker. This is actually a huge meal for me. Last year I resolved to lose weight and add some muscle, but only managed to pull off the second item. So this year is the Year of the Small Gut. No specific diets (Garfield said it best: diet is spelled "DIE" with a T), but a definite increase in fruits and vegetables and a decrease in refined sugar, fat, and portion sizes. The last part is always the stickler. Until you read the nutrition labels, you don't realize you likely consume 3 to 4 times the portions they talk about. It's not as bad as it seems though. I eat about five meals a day (two snacks) and, although I haven't dropped an ounce, the energy level is a huge change. Like running a car for ten years on the cheapest gas you can buy then treating it to a tank full of premium.

Let's play Catch Up then, shall we? Surely. Christmas came and went with the usual flurry of gifts and jokes. Two really great gifts: a tool set from Crescent and a Nikon digital camera. The tools are first rate (already changed out my brakes using them) and the camera is beyond description. When the instruction book is bigger than the camera itself, you know you're dealing with something good. I'm still reading it and can't believe all the functions crammed into it.

New Year's resolution is, of course, to burn off the pounds. But at least I have something else to look forward to besides seeing my feet:

This was what I wanted to talk about way back in October. Yes, there will be a little monkey coming around some time in June if all goes well. Suggestions on equipment and names are always welcome.

posted by: Jiggsy at 01/17/05 11:57 | link | comments (12) |